Friday, May 15, 2009

So you want to win the LOTTERY

Of course you do. Because, for some bizarre reason when faced with odds of 18 million to one, you focus all your attention on that itty bitty one, and completely ignore the big, complicated side of the equation that will occur around 17,999,999 times more frequently.

Why? Because you're a moron.

So instead of trying to explain the finer points of crushing inevitability and statistical certainties to you, we're going to focus instead on the real reason people continue to witlessly donate their money to lottery companies: What if?

What if it was you? What if you really did have a chance of winning the big prize? What if you managed to pull off the impossible and actually got your greasy, grasping, greedy little fingers on that enormous, mega-millions bonus powerball jackpot? Happiness is just a huge windfall of cash away, right? An eight-figure bank balance is your route to joy and contentment. Blissful fulfillment awaits you in deluxe rich-dick nirvana.

Except almost all lottery winners are so stupid that they continue to play their numbers after they win. That's right, they continue to do the thing they think will make them happy, after it has supposedly made them happy. Around 98 percent of them according to one survey – not that such a big, complicated number will likely mean much to you, not when there's that little two percent left for you to focus on. Go on, look at it. Two percent. That could be you.



Nic Leavitt said...

Very good recommendations, but still play and wait the Jackpot coming! I play very weeks but nothing big for the moment! Essentially I play at Australian lotto results!

Kabob Cookbook said...

Thank you ffor sharing this

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