Friday, May 29, 2009

So you want to be a BLOGGER

You know that homeless guy who hangs out on the street corner near your work? The one who doesn't wear a shirt and smells of old fish? Well, his shouty rants about the spiders in his head and the little people who steal his underwear when he's sleeping are far more interesting than your tedious blogs - and they reach a bigger audience too.

No one wants to hear whatever random assortment of noises your stomach makes whenever you open your mouth to yawn. No one is interested in your LOL links to puerile crap only ADD 12-year-olds should find funny. And no one is captivated by your inane commentary on your unbelievably vapid life.

In short, no one cares, including you whenever you finally get bored of this pointless vanity exercise and quietly abandon it.

And don't ever fool yourself into thinking you can make any money out of your half-baked notions and self-serving stupidity. Sure, your fatuous witterings have a potential readership of millions, but back here in reality land that same yelling crazy man will make more money every single day from shaking an empty coffee cup in the face of random, scared strangers than you ever will from Google Ads.

Hey, why not post something about that? Blah blah blah, blog, repeat, etc.